Discussing NEWTs
by snowfallegends
Summary: this is me poking fun at some of the pairings I don't approve of, and RON! read and review please, they are my source of survival! this is a repost so please review!


hi everyone! this is a repost. I decided to repost it because all i got was one review cries soPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEreview! i really appreciate it and i would write another one if i knew that people liked it!

btw, i don't believe Dumbledore died, so he will make an appearance in the fic.

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The setting is Hogwarts, sixth year for Harry, Hermione, and Ron. They are in the courtyard, discussing their upcoming NEWTs.

"O MY FUCKING GOD I AM SOOOO NERVOUS ABOUT OUR NEWTS!" exclaimed Ron, "even though I have a jealousy problem and I am the best friend of one of the most famous wizards on earth, I have no possible chance of ever ever getting a job, because I AM SO FUCKING STUPID!"

Harry and Hermione nodded with great enthusiasm, making comments on how true it was. He stared at the other people near them, who were eyeing him with a strange look. soon after, Hermione tried to soothe him down by saying:

"that's alright Ronald. I'll always love you, even if we fight all the time and half the time we wish the other would die. But what would that have to do with love? Its not like you have to actually like eachother!" she saidmatter-of-factly

"That's right Ron. Even though only me and Hermione were civil to eachother and I'm the one she gave a kiss to after fourth year and not you, its you and her thatare inlove." said Harry equally matter-of-factly

"i guess you're right. but still! I'm soooooooooo unlucky! I mean,I come from a loving and large family with wonderful parents and pretty good grades, but Harry has no family whatsoever, and the same grades as me, and a mass murderer after him! I wish i could be like you Harry, more than ever!" exclaimed Ron

At that moment, Snape came out, dressed in a black wedding dress and holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Hermione my love!" he said "would you marry me, even though i hate your best friend's guts and i have been nothing but evil to you throughout your whole high school life and you're about thirty years younger than me?"

"why the hell would I do that you bastard, even if you have a strangely attractive greasy mop of hair which you never wash and are too gay to function?" she asked in response

right after she said these words, Ron's eyes glazed over and looked at Snape lovingly.

"Snape, my evil and demented Potions teacher who I am supposed to hate, will you marry me?" Ron yelled loud enough for everyone to hear

"I don't like think so! I might be, like, gay, but notthat gay! Whatev, get away from me loooser!" said Snape putting an "L" sign on his forhead. He stomped off, giving his bouquet of flowers to Draco, who was advancing towards the supposed "Golden Trio"

"OMG! I have just gotten a bouquet of flowers from my mostest favoritest Potions teacher! OMG! OMG! OMG!" he was screaming over and over. Once he reached Harry, though, his joy and happiness disappeared and was replaced with fury

"Like what the hell was Snape doing here?" he asked in a girly voice

"I was asking him to marry me, thank you very much!" said Ron, like it was a trophy moment to be treasured forever, whose eyes were glazing over again as he stared at Draco

"omg! like what the hell would you like see in him? Other than the fact that I adore him..." said Draco, staring off into space

"NOOO! I LOVE HIM!" shouted Ron

"I'd like to see you say that to his face!" said Draco, running off with Ron chasing him

Harry and Hermione, who were silent during this whole episode, simply stared at eachother once more, lost in eachother's worlds when Ginny came bounding up and started snogging Harry incessently

said Harry pushing her off him, "What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid little girl!" exclaimed Harry with disgust

"Harry,I love you so much, even though you are so much more mature and older and cooler and smarter and nicer to look at andthat you only have brotherly feelings towards me!" she said in one breath, kissing him once more

Hermione, again, simply stared, unaffected by the fact that this evil little redheaded girl was snogging her best friend right in front of you

Once again, Harry pushed her off him, and told her to go snog someone who actually liked her, and obliged happily

Hermione turned to Harry asking, "I thought it was supposed to be you and Ginny together, thats what i thought because you are practically one of her brothers, seeing as Mrs. Weasly thinks you are her son?"

He replied "well thats what i thought too, cause you know my mom was a readhead as well, so it should be meant to be, ya know? but then i remembered what happened to my parents: they died. I'd rather not meet the same end as my parents, thank you!"

"But I thought it would be you and Ron as well! I mean, you could cut the sexual tension between you two witha knife!" he questioned

" Yah, well all we do is fight, plus he is an idiot, not like you of course!" she said

" do you mean that?" he asked

" of courseI do. I love you andno one else, probably because you're supposed to deserve someone that has the same intellectual level as you, not someone who is simply pretty and plays quidditch! Besides, if you ended up with Cho, she would probably commit suicide because of her love of Cedric! so it proves we're meant to be!" she replied

"great cause I love you too!" with this statement, Harry closed the space between them and they met in a sweet kiss. Little did they know that Ron was watching them

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE MY TWO BEST FRIENDS DOING!" he yelled. of course, by then, everyone in the whole school was in the courtyard, watching the minidrama between the Golden Trio

Both Harry and Hermione were nervous, but then Ron came out and said

"This is great! I always knew that you loved her, even though you are my two best friends and you both will abandon me to go snogging behind a bookshelf and i'll be crying my eyes out, I'm still happy for you!" he said

"Oh good! Does Snape love you after all?" Harry asked

"Actually he loves Draco, by the time I left they were on the floor, i just couldn't stand watching two of my loves going at it like that, so i joined in the fun.." he grinned mischeviously

"PLEASE NO DETAILS!" everyone yelled. Then Ginny bounded up to Ron and said:

"OMG I love you so much Ronald, even though i have lived with you for all my life and you are only a year older than me and the weirdest of all our other brothers and that we share the same mother, i still choose you over all the other boys at Hogwarts in my year!" with that she started snogging him incessantly, like she did Harry, and Ron responded extremely enthusiastically.

when they started snogging, Harry and Hermione resumed what Ron disrupted, and soon Draco and Snape came outside again, looking ruffed up but extremely happy, and, seeing everyone snogging, started as well.

When Dumbledore and McGonagal came out and saw everyone snogging, they started as well, because, they, of course, are never too old to do anything and Dumbledore really has nothing better to do, nothing like saving the world,oh no, he's too busy falling in love with an old lady.

FUTURE:

Harry and Hermione get married and have two kids named James and Lily. Of course, James and Lily fall in love with two other people named James and Lily and they have kids named Harry and Hermione, and so on and so on...

Ron and Ginny get married and have beautiful redheaded Weasly children together, of course they are all deformed because they have twice as much of a chance to get the family diseases.

Ron, Draco, and Snape secretly have an affair with eachother, with Snape married to Draco. They both have ugly, slimy, grey eyed children together, even though it's physically impossible for a man to have a baby, but of course anything is possible in the wizarding world.

Dumbledore and McGonagall get married as well, and they also have twenty children together, all wrinkly and ugly, just like the two of them.

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hehe hope the little addition wasn't too much...PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!


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